Best Art Jokes

Here are some funny art jokes –

• The windmill was invented for the sole purpose of filling up the blank bits in the back of 16th Century Flemish paintings.
• They couldn’t find the artist so they hung the picture.
• I haven’t seen choreography that stiff since the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer.
• I think I may be a talented photographer. I took just one photo with my camera phone and it asked me if I wanted to open a gallery.
• Whether an illustrator is successful or not is all based on the look of the draw.
• Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you, then they hang you on the wall.
• Nobody goes to the theatre unless they have bronchitis.
• Artists do not steal. But they do borrow without giving back.
• David Copperfield’s greatest trick was getting Charles Dickens to write a book about him before he was born.
• Instead of admitting you signed up for a lifetime of poverty and despair, just call yourself a writer.
• Last night I dreamt I was writing ‘Lord of the Rings’. Turns out I was Tolkien in my sleep.
• A modern artist is someone who paints on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and then sells the cloth.
• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
• Is there a newspaper in Central America called “El Salvador Daily”?
• Acting is a minor of gift; after all, Shirley Temple could do it when she was four.
• Damien Hurst is an artist who transforms a pickled bovine into a cash cow.
• The play was a great success but the audience was a failure.
• If you’ve really got to have a spray tan then make sure it’s given by Banksy.
• The poet Rainer Rilke said that answers are less important than good questions. Oh, really?
• Haiku about getting out of bed:

no no no no no, no no no no no no no, no no no no no

• I come from a long line of actors. It’s called the dole queue.
• I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from statues that are missing from all the other museums.
• Jane Austen was in fact a man. A huge Yorkshireman with a beard like a rhododendron bush.
• I don’t do jokes about graphic designers. I draw the line at that.